2010 Review

This is my adapted version of a survey completed by my favorite blogger, whom I refer to as Sundry. Many of my athletic ambitions this year were inspired by her, as is my desire to write more consistently in funny and heart felt ways.

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?

Went to the Winter Olympics in Vancouver, B.C.; ran a 5K, a 10 K, and the 12K Bay to Breakers (in three successive months, I might add); completed 2 triathlons, traveled to Crater Lake, backpacked in a part of N. California known as the Marble Mountain wilderness as a family of 3.5 (Michael, Erin, myself and Kahlo); drove the entire length of the Oregon coast, from south to north

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

The two goals I had documented in writing for 2010 were:
A. Bay to Breakers 10K run in mid-May
This turned out to be a 12K and is roughly equivalent to 7 miles. I completed this, running most of the way and within the first 10,000 people which meant I got my name printed in the SF Chronicle. Barely.

B. Pine Hollow Sprint Triathlon in June
Finished this with decent time despite a floundering swim and poor sleep the previous night. I really enjoyed this event and will probably do it again this year.

Goals for 2011 include: At least three triathlons, one of which will be Olympic distance and get down to my goal weight of %#*!. I have more and will add to this list but right know iIm still contemplating which direction the betterment of me will take.


3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, and I considered deleting this question because, although I have a number of work colleagues and former classmates squarely in this stage of development (see Erickson's stage 6- generativity vs. stagnation), I don't know of anyone close to me who will be looking forward to or trying for new parenthood anytime soon.

4. Did anyone close to you die?

My grandfather, Keith. He was a farm boy from Iowa, who seemed really grumpy when I was a kid. Later, especially after he retired, he seemed calmer and more demonstrative of affection with us grandkids.
I learned as an kid that my mother, her parents and her siblings had been in an serious accident, in which all involved were lucky to have survived. My mother had serious lesions and nearly lost her nose; my uncle has a major concussion, an aunt had broken bones, but the worst of the damage occurred to my grandfathers spine. He broke his neck and it was thought, at the time, that he may never regain the ability to walk. He did relearn to walk but lost his proprioception (the ability to feel where he was in space) which meant that he spent the rest of his life without feeling his hands, feet, legs, and arms. If he couldn't see them, they were just a habit he carried around with him. What this condition resolved into as aged and lost his balance and eyesight was a loss of monitoring of his body which impaired his ability to groom himself or eat or take his medications.

It seems like in his final years he became a wraith of his former self; although he was still fiery at times, he spent many family gatherings without anyone talking with him.

He was ever passionate about his service as a Marine and ever the patriot, and deeply concerned about the well being of those he loved, especially my grandmother, whom he had known for nearly seven decades.

5. What countries did you visit?
Canada - Vancouver, B.C. visit to Susan and Kirk during the WInter Olympics. I'm so thankful we had this opportunity. Even though we didn't attend any ticketed sporting events, we did make it into town to see the torch run around town, mill around in the streets with folks from all over the world, and experience an amazing world celebration. We even attended the Chinese New Year parade, which I think was a bit overshadowed by the whole Olympics thing.

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
Better financial footing and a kitchen that doesn’t irritate the hell out of me.

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
March - First 5k
April - First 10k
May - Bay to Breakers
June - Triathlon at Pine Hollow
August - Family Vacation
September - Loss of Grandpa, quitting 2nd job, Randy moved back to PDX

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Completing a triathlon. Sticking to a training schedule to complete many new athletic experiences whilst working two jobs.

9. What was your biggest failure?
My biggest disappointments or failures often feel like they are tied to my parenting or my profession. There are certain kids I work with that I always feel like I failed no matter what I did or tried.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?

I stayed injury free during my athletic training, which felt like a triumph in itself. Intermittent light headedness seems to be a theme for the year, though, both for Erin and myself.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My new road bike and entry fees to athletic events.

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My daughter. She started 6th grade at a school I choose for her where she didn't know many kids and was not happy with my choice. She found a group of friends but no one in her group was in her core class. She felt a bit lonely and isolated at times. She managed straight A's all year, invested herself challenged herself to advance up a grade in math (against my better judgement) and ended the school year with high regard from friends and staff.
She also choose to try the local swim team at Grant High for the summer. This pool has a HUGE swim team, who practices at 7, 8, or 9 in the morning. I worked for 4 weeks this summer, so she biked to practice, often went to the 7 am practice, which had less kids = better coaching, and stayed frequently stayed for 2 practices. She ended the summer a solid racing swimmer, felt strong and healthy, and improved her esteem.
She backpacked, she climbed walls at the Portland Rock Gym, she organized a UNICEF campaign at school and exceeded her fundraising goal. She is 13. And she is the most impressive person I knew or knew of in 2011.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Usually my own. Sometimes my parents. Occasionally my colleagues.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Towards paying off consumer debt. That is where most of it will go this year as well. It's getting better, though.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
San Francisco trip; Backpacking and visiting Crater Lake and the Redwoods; excercising - I become one of those people who talks about exercising all the time, as evidenced by this list.

16. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
A little of both? Or neither? I can't remember my mental state at this time last year. I know I was still working 2 jobs, so that caused a different level of fatigue and household compromise that is not present now.
b) thinner or fatter?
Compared to 12/31 last year, a bit slimmer. Maybe. Compared to earlier in 2010, about 10 lbs. fatter. Too much pasta and baked goods for the past 3 months.
c) richer or poorer?
Slightly poorer for having only one job right now, but I've erased alot of personal consumer debt so I feel slightly richer for having resolved some of those burdens.

17. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Spent time with Erin and Michael, spent time enriching friendships and connecting with people I care about

18. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Procrastinating. Sitting indoors.

19. How will you be spending Christmas?
I spent Christmas day by getting upset with my dog in the a.m. because she had peed and vomited in my office, taking Erin to her grandparents for her dad's family Christmas, mentally preparing for time with my mom's family, looking forward to spending time with friends at the end of the night, fighting with my mom, and capped off the day by passing out for no apparent reason which prompted a call for EMT services by previous co-workers at the K-hole.
But Christmas Eve was great.

20.What was your favorite TV program?
Fringe, Lie to Me, Mad Men, Community, Louie

21. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
I think I hate all the same people I did last year.

22. What was the best book you read?
This question is unfair because I can never name just one good book. I am a bibliophile and had many many great book experiences this year. Some of my great reads were the result of receiving the Indiespensible subscription from Powell’s for Christmas of 2009 and I highly recommend it for exposing oneself to compelling books that you may not otherwise choose. Most notable include the Hunger Games series, The Matterhorn by Karl Marlantes, The Particular Sadness of Lemon Cake by Aimee Bender, and More Best Recipes and The New Best Recipes cookbooks sent me on a cooking spree that that has yet to cease.

23. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Great music is usually foisted upon me by my brother, who is a musician, so it is rare that I can say I discover music in any given year. This year the music Randy helped me discover La Roux, a British band that sounds, to me, a bit like David Bowie meets Annie Lennox.

24. What did you want and get?
A badass food processor for my new cooking obsession and to go backpacking with Erin and Michael along part of the PCT.

25. What did you want and not get?
A sunny vacation for just Michael and me. To reach my appropriate BMI.

26. What was your favorite film of this year?
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 1. Scott Pilgrim Saves the World.
I spend a lot of time watching movies on Netflix, which means most of the films I consume are one of the following: 1. Oldies but goodies, 2. Oldies but mediocre, 3. New but not good enough for release in major theaters, or 4. documentaries of some sort or 5. great movies I have watched many, many times.
Movies that surprised me on Netflix instant watch this year include Shrink, More Than a Game, The Duchess, The Queen and I, B.I.K.E.(which includes many of my brother’s former roommates in NYC), and The Young Victoria.

27. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I think we went to Russell Street BBQ for my birthday. My grandfather died on the 10th, my birthday’s on the 13th; the whole week was a bit weak. I am 35.

28. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Nothing that I can pinpoint.

29. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Reduction in pant size and increase in athletic gear, including very expensive running shoes, lots of spandex-y pants, a wetsuit for cold water swims, bike gloves, swimsuit (yikes), goggles, etc., etc.

30. What kept you sane?
I may not be sane. There is a lot of debate about this question.

31. What political issue stirred you the most?
Attacks on public education, Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, continued wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. We have been fighting in Afghanistan for 10 years. That is a tragedy.

32. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010.

That I’m pretty good at setting goals and accomplishing them when they are meaningful to me.

Circling the Brain

As I stated in my previous post, I have a hard time getting my brain stop. It is constantly contemplating that one thing or that next thing, or why did she/say that?, why did I say that? what is on the to do list?, pick up, drop off, dinner, soccer schedules, work out opportunities, financial crisis (personal and national), Basketball box scores, the state of the union, (personal and national), education of the ill communicators, etc, etc, blah blah blah.

So, on that note let me take a moment to purge these thoughts for you. Or on you. Whichever.

1. First off, since it reached a new level of ugly last night....what the hell is going on with the Blazers and their athletic trainers? Injury roll call for the year:

Jeff Pendergraph, hip surgery; Nic Batum, shoulder injury; Travis Outlaw, fractured foot; Greg Oden, split knee cap; Joel Pryzbilla, torn up knee; Rudy Fernandez, dodgy sciatic nerve and back surgery; Brandon Roy, hamstring strain; Jarred Bayless, sprained ankle last night

Professional basketball players put their bodies through a tremendous amount of punishment every game but this is getting ridiculous. Somebody needs to reconsider the competence of our teams training staff and find someone who can keep one of the youngest teams in the league healthy and playing. I want my team of their crutches and out of their braces and on the floor playing the game.

2. Ugly results this week from Massachusetts, as the voters there apparently felt like giving the legacy of Ted Kennedy the middle finger. The sad fact that John Kerry is now the senior senator from the state and that a republican holds the title of junior is a bit depressing. The number of GOP boners and FOX news circle jerks over this political coup has been really nauseating.

3. Which brings me to this little fun fact: Did you know that the Supreme Court of our dear nation in a 5-4 decision over turned 100 years of campaign finance protections that were meant to keep corporations out of the business of electing political officials? Well, they did. And now I fully expect to see politicians selling advertising space on their suits, ties, foreheads, etc. as ad executives and candidates work to adjust to these new rules. For example, " Please welcome Governor So&So, brought to you by Chase Bank, providing you with unmanageable debt for over 40 years!"

Mark my words, people. This new interpretation of the law will be one of the most far-reaching and perverse acts instituted in this country in a long, long time. I'm so glad that our rights to free speech can apply to corporations. I'm so glad the democracy is subject to the whims of corporate interest. (insert bitter sarcasm here)

I feel like I'm living in one of those distopian novels that are set in the near future and includes flying cars, computer chips in the shoulders of every man, woman and child, and Big Brother wanting us all to burn books while voting for the candidate being promoted by Wal-mart. Maybe the People of Wal-Mart blog will become the national news outlet in this whacky new world.

Thanks to Justices Sotomayor, Bader Ginsburg, Breyer and Stevens for being intelligent and decent people. At least there are 4 people in the world that think corporations are not the equivalent of citizens.

To Chief Justice Roberts and his hit squad of Justices (Kennedy, Alito, Thomas, Scalia) I am exercising my free speech rights as an individual citizen, while it still exists. You five can kiss my ass, bite me, shove it, stick it, and just generally fuck off.

I hate yoga. Alot.

In the past 3 days I have made it to the gym 3 times, which is a 100% improvement over the past 6 months. Although I developed a steady gym habit a little over a year ago, my commitment and attendance has severely dropped due to the working of two jobs and a strong desire for laziness in my off hours.

Sunday, I kicked off this New Year's Resolution by running (mostly)/walking 4 miles on the treadmill. Monday, I put managed a one mile run on the treadmill and an hour long Pilates class, and, tonight, 2.6 miles run/walk on treadmill followed by a "yoga for runners" class. I figure if I am going to transform myself into a runner for the first time in my life I should have some direct guidance in how to counteract the effects of this new endeavor.

I am not, nor have I ever been, a flexible person. As a child I was long and lithe, and at varying times took both gymnastics and acrobatic classes. I had great balance, decent coordination and strong limbs. I could hurdle over the beams and bars, cartwheel around the room, and spring forward or backward with the best of them. Full splits? No way. Cirque du Soliel quality backbends? Nope. This inflexibility has followed me into adulthood and into my health routines.

About 5 years ago, after getting through graduate school, I found myself weighing 230+ pounds. I don't remember the high water mark for my flab but it got pretty bad and I felt horrid. Even at the time, I was not an inactive person. For example, my friends, boyfriend and I backpacked a length of the Pacific Crest Trail, from Mt. Hood to the Columbia Gorge, with 40 extra pounds in my pack and on my ass. So when I began attending group exercise classes at my gym I was not a completely floppy fish, sweating and red-faced after 10 minutes on a treadmill. Nor was I the athlete that was part of my childhood identity.

The classes were a way to make me complete a full hour of exercise, hold myself to a high standard and partake in a variety of movements to slim and tone. Yoga classes were on my to-do list and I discovered yoga makes me cry. Everytime.

It's not that it's particularly hard or particularly painful, though it can be both. It's that I don't relax. I don't bend and my mind does not quiet. Sitar music and reed pipes suck. And when someone says the phrase "chataranga to the floor" I want to choke them with the elastic bands hanging on the wall. Scoffing is general practice of mine and for some reason people don't scoff during yoga. My derision falls on quiet contemplative grunting as the ladies on mats next to me triangle pose them selves. I can't muscle my way through through the class, 'cause duh, it's not about forcing anything. And I can't take a break then complete the set, 'cause duh, the set is just the same from start to finish. And I can't get my body to line up and bend over and Warrior 1 and down dog and BREATHE all at the same time. So I relent in the only way I know how which is to chant my personal mantra, "I hate yoga. I hate yoga. I hate yoga." Inevitably, I just barely make it to the 60 minute mark, my eyes red, my nose stuffy, which makes mouth breathing essential, and am asked to be grateful to my body and the universe and my classmates and whatever for making it through the class and NAMASTE.

So.

Next week, I will go again. I will. Perhaps because I am a sucker for self flagilation.

Or perhaps because it seems like the thing to do, this practice of flexibility and breathing.

Or whatever.

Namaste.

Resolute- Take 2

Here we are, at the start of another year and again I find myself contemplating what I accomplished in 2009 and what I want to accomplish in 2010.

I have begun laying plans for a year of athletic feats. In '09, the big goal was not one of physical health, but of world adventure, so my time was consumed by working a second job to save for the European trip we took in June, and combing the internet for itineraries, locales and sights to prepare for when we got there. One of the side trips I did manage to take was to San Francisco with my friend. We happened to be in S.F. the weekend of the Bay to Breakers race, which is quite an event but was completely new to me. We watched from hotel windows as sleek runners, graceful even from 20 floors up, sped down the street, followed by a menagerie of characters in costumes and, in some cases, touting floats, up the street in a multi-thousand person throng of fun and run. It was so fun in fact, that I have put that same friend on notice, as well as step-mom, and partner, that I will be there, I will run this race, and I will kick ass.

Hence, athletic feat number one. -Bay to Breakers 10K run in mid-May

Athletic feat numero dos: Pine Hollow Sprint Triathlon in June, http://www.pinehollowtri.com/,

which looks like it takes place in a gorgeous resort on the east side of Mt. Hood.

There will be other items added to this list, I'm sure, and other resolutions to work on but this seems like a good start.

Darkest before the dawn

Tomorrow is the inauguration of Barack Obama.  There are so many amazing things to say about this occasion that it seems nearly impossible to summarize them all. 

Throughout the primaries and election cycles I have been concurrently inattentive to the idea of our first non-white president and dazzled by the thought of being part of this moment in my countries history.  Let me explain.

My inattention stems from the campaign landscape of the past two (or eight) years.   In evaluating my choices and preferences for the our next president, I felt very strongly that this country needed 1. to get republicans out of the executive branch, 2. to end the Bush dynasty (Sr. and Jr.), without establishing a Clinton version (Bill and Hill), 3. to elect a leader that had good intentions for the smallest or most vulnerable amongst us, and 4. to reestablish the credibility of the United States, not only with other countries, but also with its own citizens, in keeping with its highest ideals. 

Early on, this meant I was part of the Obama nation and was strong in advocating for him amongst friends, colleagues, and strangers.  I talked about his charisma, his policies, his big heart and his intelligence.  I talked up his thoughts for higher education, ending the wars abroad, using diplomacy as a tool in our national security strategy rather than as news reel gaff for mispronouncing it.

These times of Obama cheer leading were also to root of my enthusiasm for the opportunity to witness this moment in history. Barack Obama's victory was a long shot then, an improbable event that was discussed as a correlation to the countries innate racism, the strength of the Clinton brand and the likelihood of young besting old.

I feel so proud of my country right now and that is not something that I have been able to say for nearly a decade. I have not been able to share a sense of pride in our current affairs with my daughter, who is 11 and whose only memory is of Bush Jr. and a Post 9-11 world. I have not been able to keep the twinge of sarcasm out of my voice as I discuss American history with my students.  I have not been able to watch the news without the intervention of Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert to keep it from piercing my heart.  I have not been able to listen the words of our president without scoffing or angrily arguing with my radio.  

Those days are over.

Tomorrow I will watch the inauguration of Barack Obama.  I will cheer and holler and cry and breath a sigh of relief that this country can pick its self up out of the dark and dismal place it has found itself and celebrate a further evolution of its democracy and principals.  I will find a gathering and share my joy with my neighbors and friends.  I will shed the  deep shame and embarrassment of the past eight years and embrace the dawning of this bright new era.

In need of a focus

My mind is random mash up of ideas, questions and curiosities, all at the same time and at any given time.  Since establishing writing, or more specifically writing in the form of blogging, as a resolution for the New Year, I have found myself thinking, 'Hey Self, you should write about that when you get home.' And then 42 other ideas and tasks needing completion hit me at the same time, and that thought is buried and gone.  

This process happens over and over through out the day, but by the time I arrive home and get to my computer I  usually end up with my mind a bit numb and in need of thoughtless activity such as of multiple rounds of word games on Facebook, catching up on my online distractions, or just watching some TV on the computer.  

It is my hope that as this resolution becomes a habit that these swarms of ideas will stick with me for longer and become fully formed so that they can be shared here.

Making an effort to be resolute in 2009

As 2009 approached and I contemplated my work, relationships, financial aptitude, travel ambitions, state of mind,  state of health, size of my jeans, and various other gauges of a well lived life, I realized that I had no agenda for self-reform in the new year.  

In years past I have made all the standard pledges. I will be a clear headed, patient, nurturing parent that will inspire Oxygen channel specials.  I will exercise and banish the back fat. I will work on eliminating debt or at least eliminating the pesky phone calls from creditors. I will be a better educator and inspire my students and colleagues with  my dazzling skills. I will be a good partner and lover, with that magical balance of sex appeal and best friend.  

As with all stimulus packages, these efforts have met with various degrees of success and misplaced efforts and none of the above felt like the direction for me in the New Year. 

Which brings me here, to this under-developed blog and my questionable writing skills.  Voila!  This will be the year to pump up my penmanship,  nurture my expression and dazzle those who stumble upon this with my magical blend of contemplation, wit and sarcasm.  

And off we go....