Darkest before the dawn

Tomorrow is the inauguration of Barack Obama.  There are so many amazing things to say about this occasion that it seems nearly impossible to summarize them all. 

Throughout the primaries and election cycles I have been concurrently inattentive to the idea of our first non-white president and dazzled by the thought of being part of this moment in my countries history.  Let me explain.

My inattention stems from the campaign landscape of the past two (or eight) years.   In evaluating my choices and preferences for the our next president, I felt very strongly that this country needed 1. to get republicans out of the executive branch, 2. to end the Bush dynasty (Sr. and Jr.), without establishing a Clinton version (Bill and Hill), 3. to elect a leader that had good intentions for the smallest or most vulnerable amongst us, and 4. to reestablish the credibility of the United States, not only with other countries, but also with its own citizens, in keeping with its highest ideals. 

Early on, this meant I was part of the Obama nation and was strong in advocating for him amongst friends, colleagues, and strangers.  I talked about his charisma, his policies, his big heart and his intelligence.  I talked up his thoughts for higher education, ending the wars abroad, using diplomacy as a tool in our national security strategy rather than as news reel gaff for mispronouncing it.

These times of Obama cheer leading were also to root of my enthusiasm for the opportunity to witness this moment in history. Barack Obama's victory was a long shot then, an improbable event that was discussed as a correlation to the countries innate racism, the strength of the Clinton brand and the likelihood of young besting old.

I feel so proud of my country right now and that is not something that I have been able to say for nearly a decade. I have not been able to share a sense of pride in our current affairs with my daughter, who is 11 and whose only memory is of Bush Jr. and a Post 9-11 world. I have not been able to keep the twinge of sarcasm out of my voice as I discuss American history with my students.  I have not been able to watch the news without the intervention of Jon Stewart or Stephen Colbert to keep it from piercing my heart.  I have not been able to listen the words of our president without scoffing or angrily arguing with my radio.  

Those days are over.

Tomorrow I will watch the inauguration of Barack Obama.  I will cheer and holler and cry and breath a sigh of relief that this country can pick its self up out of the dark and dismal place it has found itself and celebrate a further evolution of its democracy and principals.  I will find a gathering and share my joy with my neighbors and friends.  I will shed the  deep shame and embarrassment of the past eight years and embrace the dawning of this bright new era.